September 30, 2010

Heavenly Father

Dear Snide Atheist,
How can you deny that God is our Heavenly Father?
JesusLove

Dear JesusLove,
Answering your question makes me want to gouge my right eye out with a fork, which I would gladly do if I hadn't already gouged out my left one after simply reading your question! The reason I can deny your fairy tale is my father is that I do, in fact, know who my actual father is. Sometimes, I think to myself, "I wonder if my poor relationship with my father has something to do with my atheism?" Then, I come to my senses and tell myself to stop being a complete moron. Then I down a fifth of Jack and get ready for the night's orgy.
Sincerely,
The Snide Atheist

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