Celebrating Christmas

Dear Snide Atheist,
Do you celebrate Christmas?  If so, do you have a Christmas tree?
Anne

Dear Anne,
I can see that you have an unhealthy obsession with phallic objects! Of course, I celebrate Christmas. The unbridled consumerism; the hedonistic gluttony and consumption of alcohol; the ceaseless arguing and aggression; the inevitable post-Christmas depression - Christmas was made for atheists. In fact, I didn't even know Christmas was supposed to be a religious holiday until I heard Bill O'Reilly yapping about it a couple of years ago. If this is the way that Christians celebrate the birth of their god, it could very well be a religion I could get behind! And yes, I do include a Christmas tree. Where else would I hang all my Christmas tree lights?
Sincerely,
The Snide Atheist